Posted in Uncategorized

The Danger of Pinterest…

Is that I’ll get stuck there reading article after awesome article 🧐!

Check these out:

12 Things Parents Did In The ’50s That Millennial Parents Should Bring Back

And a slightly different take on decluttering (b/c I know I definitely need to):

8 Tips For Decluttering On A Low Income (From A Mom Who’s Been There)

BTW, the decluttering article is PACKED with links that suggest I can take this order/organization thing to another level! I’ll keep you posted. 😉

Have a great day!

Joanne

©Joanne C Timpano, content and images (unless otherwise specified), 2019.

Posted in Discipline vs. Control, Parenting, Reflections, Uncategorized

Could We Have Done Something Right?–Part One

Hello, all!

I am FINALLY launching the second series of parenting posts I promised. As always, thank you for taking the time to be here.

NOTE: These essays originally posted starting 11/11/2013, for a total of six articles, right around the time my boys were turning 17 and 15. Very special thanks to Doctor Lori and Ms. Paula, for unknowingly inspiring me to pull together the rest of the Could We Have Done Something Right series, and subsequently, my workshop.

Here is Part 1:

“You realize we’re both hating you right about now,” said a new coworker, a few weeks ago. She, myself and a student’s assistant were discussing kids and getting them to do their chores without it being a struggle.

I’d happened onto their discussion, just in time to hear the assistant saying she was tired of “paying” her teenage kids before their chores were done, then having to argue about it.

Interestingly enough, this conversation took place a few days after Hubby and I decided to leave the dinner dishes and go hit tennis balls before dark. Younger Son (who at the time, was a few weeks shy of his 15th birthday) had cleared the dishes, but there were still pots to be washed, the counter to be wiped down…you know.

Aside: This Italian was raised to NEVER do the next thing—God forbid, something fun—until the house is clean. Somehow, Hubby got infected with this disease and looked at me like, You want to go now? Leave this mess? (I assured him it would be there when we got back.)

Well, Hubby and I took off, had some fun and headed back home. (So glad I went! I happened to have an awesome day on the court–for me, anyway. Just sayin’.) It was still just light enough for a walk, so I opted to sneak in a short one before it got any darker. “Oh sure. Leave me with the kitchen clean-up,” Hubby grumped. (Not terribly.)

“I don’t know why we own Younger Son,” I answered. “There’s no reason we couldn’t have asked him to do it.”

Lo and behold, we entered a FULLY CLEANED KITCHEN. It was like the Cleaning Fairy had dropped in for a visit.

This is pretty much the point where my co-worker expressed hate. And when I mentioned the episode to someone else a day later—hey, I’m still every bit as amazed as the day it happened—another coworker overheard. She did the slow head turn, eyes wide: “What foundation did you lay for something like that to happen?”

BTW, on another night, in the vicinity of that time, Younger Son did something similar—washed the few dishes in the sink without being asked.

And a few weeks after that, when I picked up my mom from the hospital, and I was tied up helping her transition from hospital to home, and I hadn’t made it to cleaning the kitchen (Hubby was away), and it was 10:30 PM, I walked into the kitchen while Older Son (who was pushing the ripe age of 17) was doing what had to be done, without anyone asking.

And on another occasion close to that, when Younger Son had an orthodontist appointment at 6:30 PM—don’t ask why anyone would schedule that time when after school is so much more convenient at my house—and Hubby wasn’t home, and both boys and I were scrambling to leave the kitchen clean before taking off, Older Son casually said, “You guys go. I’ll finish this.”

Mother does the glance askance at Older Son. Huh? (This is the same kid that would step out of his shoes in the middle of the doorway and keep walking. At least he slips out of them to the side of a step these days, with one shoe pointing outward every time, which is pretty much how the kid walks, and still proof that he literally steps out of his shoes, lol.)

“What foundation did you lay for something like that to happen?

My co-worker’s question really got me thinking big-time. Next time, I’ll share some of the thoughts her question provoked.

Your turn: if you have kids, have they left you flumgubbered enough to wonder what YOU might have done right? Take a minute and tell us about it, please! Feel free to post a comment below, share on my Facebook page or email me (if you’re shy 🙂 ). Or simply help share the content by clicking one or more of the buttons below!

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Photo by Sara Wether from Pexels

Have a spectacular day!

Joanne

©Joanne C Timpano, content and images (unless otherwise specified), 2019.

Posted in Discipline vs. Control, Parenting, Reflections, Uncategorized

Getting Back to that Parenting Stuff…

Welcome back! T’is the season when I’m going to be more patchy than at others—depends on how much paperwork there is to do for the day job. Just for today, I’m as caught up as I need to be, so I want to get back here and post!!!

So… I started this around December and got sidetracked with Christmas, keto, reports due. As per Sir Elton John’s lyrics from Circle of Life, there will always be, “more to do than can ever be done.” (I got teary-eyed the first time I heard it. What do you mean, I can’t do everything I’ll ever need or want to do?????)

Anyway, dear parents, guardians and caregivers of children, please allow me to get back on track.

First and foremost:

Many, many thanks for spending your very precious time here! I am humbled, grateful, and indebted. As with my previous series of thoughts on children, I hope you find inspiration via my journey through motherhood, and perhaps some tips to help you feel empowered while you navigate yours.

Just a few reminders for those moments you wonder which alien creature took over your body and signed you up to bring people into the world and help them find their way into the realm of adulthood.  At the end of the day, that’s why we’re here, yes? (Yes???)

Anyway:

This parenting gig is W.O.R.K.

Hard work.

Long days of seemingly doing the same thing over and over, with little or no acknowledgment, let along thanks.

Efforts that often seem unrewarded, or worse yet, fruitless.

Please note: Given the correct circumstances—mind you I didn’t say “perfect”—those efforts add up, much like Aesop’s famed crow dropping one pebble at a time into that pitcher with an inch of water or so at the bottom, in order to reward himself with a drink.

So…

I am starting a follow-up to my Discipline vs. Control series. Ironically enough, several weeks ago (specifically, on the day after Christmas), I left the sink full of dishes and the kitchen to clean after I relaxed a little with Hubby after dinner. It was after 9 and Younger Son (who recently turned 20) had come in from the mall a little earlier. After his shower, he tends to grab food I leave on the stove and head downstairs, where he usually hangs out playing video games.

From the living room, I heard the kitchen faucet running. After it ran for a steady 10 minutes, I realized my “little one” was cleaning up my mess—unasked. (Whaaaat?? This from the same kid who hadn’t managed to wipe down one bathroom sink after two weeks of his ma asking him to do so. I had the perfect teachable moment planned when he started looking for socks fresh from the laundry. I was going to give him first-hand instruction on how to Google use of the washer or refer him to a YouTube video of the same. I’m holding off for now. 😉 )

And this evening’s episode, which catapulted me back five years, segues me perfectly into the next series of posts directly related to parenting. Please stay tuned. Episodes such as mine can be a reality in your parenting life too! 🙂

Go forward. Be empowered. And always remember, you can start your day or even your journey over anytime you choose to do so.

Your turn: has one (or more) of your children done something so awesomely unexpected that made your jaw drop? Please tell in the comments or share on Facebook!

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Have a wonderful day,

Joanne

©Joanne C Timpano, all rights reserved, content and images (unless otherwise       specified),  2019.